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1 What's the best cure for insomnia?
Sleep on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.
You cannot pull their legs.
No. That would be stupid. You'd get really cold with no clothes on.
He made a grave mistake.
Thanks. I've had a smashing time.
2 Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Terrible
No. I didn't know it was on fire.
Please be quiet or else everybody will want one.
It gets hopping mad.
I agree with both - I think she's pretty ugly.
3 A man jumped off a bridge in Paris.
Because its capital is always Dublin.
No. I didn't know it was on fire.
He must have been insane.
He made a grave mistake.
I'm having a light lunch.
4 Get out of my house. You've broken all my plates.
Sleep on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.
He must be filthy rich.
Hit your head hard against the window and the pain will disappear.
Because the parrots eat them all.
Thanks. I've had a smashing time.
5 "My wife has gone to the West Indies." "Jamaica?"
Terrible
No she decided to go by herself.
He must have been insane.
It gets hopping mad.
Thanks. I've had a smashing time.
6 Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?
Because you can always see through them.
You cannot pull their legs.
No. That would be stupid. You'd get really cold with no clothes on.
He made a grave mistake.
I agree with both - I think she's pretty ugly.
7 Have you ever hunted bear?
Because its capital is always Dublin.
No she decided to go by herself.
No. That would be stupid. You'd get really cold with no clothes on.
He made a grave mistake.
Because I'm a poor player.
8 Why do you ask spectators for money when you play football?
Terrible
He must be filthy rich.
Hit your head hard against the window and the pain will disappear.
Because the parrots eat them all.
Because I'm a poor player.
9 Why can't you play jokes on snakes?
Terrible
You cannot pull their legs.
He must have been insane.
It gets hopping mad.
Because I'm a poor player.
10 How can I stop this headache?
Sleep on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.
No. I didn't know it was on fire.
Hit your head hard against the window and the pain will disappear.
It gets hopping mad.
I'm having a light lunch.
11 My uncle is a millionaire but he never washes.
Sleep on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.
He must be filthy rich.
He must have been insane.
No thanks. I like it the colour it is.
Because I'm a poor player.
12 John thinks Allie is pretty and Simon thinks she's ugly. Who do you agree with?
Terrible
You cannot pull their legs.
Hit your head hard against the window and the pain will disappear.
Because the parrots eat them all.
I agree with both - I think she's pretty ugly.
13 Did you put the cat out?
Sleep on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.
No. I didn't know it was on fire.
He must have been insane.
No thanks. I like it the colour it is.
I agree with both - I think she's pretty ugly.
14 "My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?"
Terrible.
No she decided to go by herself.
No. That would be stupid. You'd get really cold with no clothes on.
No thanks. I like it the colour it is.
Thanks. I've had a smashing time.
15 Why are you eating those electric bulbs?
Terrible
No she decided to go by herself.
Hit your head hard against the window and the pain will disappear.
Because the parrots eat them all.
I'm having a light lunch.
16 Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Terrible
No she decided to go by herself.
Please be quiet or else everybody will want one.
Because the parrots eat them all.
Thanks. I've had a smashing time.
17 How do you know when a kangaroo is angry?
Terrible
No she decided to go by herself.
Please be quiet or else everybody will want one.
It gets hopping mad.
I'm having a light lunch.
18 Why is Ireland the richest country in the world?
Because its capital is always Dublin.
You cannot pull their legs.
No. That would be stupid. You'd get really cold with no clothes on.
No thanks. I like it the colour it is.
Because I'm a poor player.
19 Why did the undertaker lose his job?
Because its capital is always Dublin.
He must be filthy rich.
Please be quiet or else everybody will want one.
He made a grave mistake.
I agree with both - I think she's pretty ugly.
20 Would you like your palm read now?
Sleep on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.
No. I didn't know it was on fire.
Please be quiet or else everybody will want one.
No thanks. I like it the colour it is.
I'm having a light lunch.